Sleep Deprivation with a Baby/toddler: Our Never-Ending Nighttime Saga

Ah, sleep deprivation—the gift that keeps on giving when you have a baby, right? 😴 It’s something all parents brace themselves for, but when your little one is waking every 20 minutes (yes, you read that right), and you’re terrified they won’t be able to breathe… well, that’s a whole new level of exhaustion. 💤

Our son, Archie, has a condition called laryngomalacia, which means his airway is a bit floppy. 😕 It’s supposed to improve as he grows, but in the early days, it sounded like he was struggling to breathe, especially at night. I think every parent worries about their baby while they sleep, but for us, it was intense. We were constantly on edge, scared that if we closed our eyes, something would happen. The fear was real and relentless. 😩 I will write a whole other post on Archie’s laryngomalacia, but I thought it was important to mention as it definitely contributes to the sleep issues. 🛏️💔

The Contact Nap Era

In those early months, Archie wouldn’t sleep unless he was physically on us. 🤱 Contact naps were the only way he’d rest, which sounds lovely and cuddly in theory, but when you’re completely exhausted and have to be holding your baby 24/7 just for them to nap, it’s more like a marathon you never signed up for. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️

We tried everything to get him to sleep somewhere else—crib, moses basket, baby carrier—you name it, we tried it. But Archie had other ideas. 🤷‍♀️ He needed that physical contact, which meant we spent hours on the couch, pinned down by this tiny human, afraid to even breathe too deeply in case we woke him. The swaddles were great for a while until he became and absoulte genius at being an escape artist! 😅 Oh, and let’s not forget how we actually got him to nap in the first place! We had to pace around the house listening to Ed Sheeran’s "The A Team" 🎶 on repeat. Not exactly the most baby-friendly song, but it worked that one time, and after that, we were hooked! 🎧 It became our go-to nap track, even though it felt like pure torture after a while. 😂 Spotify Unwrapped even ranked us in the top 0.01% of Ed Sheeran’s biggest fans—ridiculous, right? 😆 We listened to it so much! And don’t even get me started on the gamble of sitting down... there was always a 50/50 chance he’d wake up the second we did. It was brutal. 🫠

The next stage of our nap saga was the bouncer. You know, those electronic bouncy chairs? 🤔 Well, ours... didn’t work. 🙃 But we discovered that if we bounced it with our foot, Archie would fall asleep! 👶💤 The catch? We could not stop bouncing, or he’d wake up immediately. My legs were on fire! 🔥

It was honestly wild how much bouncing he needed to stay asleep. I remember one evening, Archie’s dad, Jay, was sitting there bouncing the chair… and Archie wasn’t even in it! 😂 He just looked at me and said, "It’s habit now!" and kept bouncing. We took turns swapping every 10 minutes because our calves were dying. 😩

Then I thought, “Why not buy one that moves on its own?” Genius, right? Wrong. 😑 Did Archie like it? Nope. Did he sleep in it? Not a chance. What a waste of money. 💸 I think I actually cried over that! 😢

Enter the Pram Stage

Eventually, we had a breakthrough (if you could call it that). We moved Archie to the pram for naps, thinking maybe the gentle rocking motion would help. And it did. Sort of. 🤔

Here’s the thing, though: we couldn’t stop moving the pram. 🛒 I mean, we couldn’t stop for one second. The moment the pram wheels paused, Archie’s eyes would ping open like clockwork. 😵‍💫 So we became professional pram pushers, pacing back and forth endlessly. We’d take turns pushing the pram around the house, hoping—praying—that he’d stay asleep just a little bit longer. 🙏 You start to feel like a zombie, pushing that thing around at all hours. Then we bought the Rockit—have you seen one? 🚀 It’s this little rocket-shaped gadget that rocks the pram for you. I’d say it was about 70% effective, which honestly felt like a win at the time! 😅 The lengths we go to just to get our babies to nap, right? 😄 I actually felt bad for the nursery staff, though. After jumping through a few hoops and signing forms, they agreed to push Archie around in the pram for his naps too! Bless them—those poor women were just as exhausted as we were! 💕🙌

The Cot Battle

After what felt like forever, we managed to transition him to his cot for naps. 🙌 Honestly, this felt like a major victory. But it wasn’t easy, not by a long shot. It took so much work. 😮‍💨

We had to mimic what we did at nighttime: walking him back and forth, rocking him endlessly until he finally—finally—fell asleep. 💤 Some days, it would take up to an hour to get him down, and by that time, we were absolutely drained. 😓 I lost count of how many times my arms were burning, my back was aching, and I thought, “I can’t do this anymore.” And then, when he did finally sleep, we’d collapse into bed or on the couch, only for him to wake up again 20 minutes later. Rinse and repeat. 😩

The Nighttime Struggles

Nighttime was no better. 🌙 Archie would be up constantly. And it wasn’t just a quick feed and back to sleep kind of situation. He’d be awake for long stretches, and getting him to settle was a whole process. 🛌 We tried everything we could think of—white noise, blackout curtains, sleep sacks—but none of it made much of a difference. He was just up. 😵

We eventually found out that Archie had sleep apnea, which made so much sense. 💡 His adenoids and tonsils were removed in hopes that it would help, and we really thought this would be our golden ticket to a good night’s sleep. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. 😞 He’s still waking frequently, and we’re still riding that sleep-deprivation wave. 🌊 But you know what? I’ve come to accept that this won’t last forever. I mean, what 20-year-old still sleeps with their parents, right? 😂 It’s just a phase… a really, really, really long phase. But right now, Archie needs me, and that’s okay. 💙 One day, he won’t need me like this anymore. And honestly? I do love the cuddles. 🥰

Coping with Sleep Deprivation

Now, let me tell you—sleep deprivation is no joke. 😵‍💫 It messes with your mind, your mood, your ability to function like a normal human being. There were days when I couldn’t string a sentence together, let alone be productive. 🧠 Sleep deprivation hit me hard. Like, "I literally crashed my car into a brand new, stationary BMW" hard! 😱🚗💥 Oh, and I also managed to take out the brick pillar outside our house in the same go. 🧱 I mean, it was a wake-up call—if I couldn’t drive safely, especially with Archie in the car, 🚼🚙 something had to give.

And then there was my teaching job. 📚 Trying to teach 150 kids a day while I could barely form a sentence? No chance. 😵‍💫 I wasn’t just exhausted; I was a complete zombie. 🧟‍♀️ Sleep deprivation is no joke—it sucks the life right out of you. 😩

But we’ve learned a few coping techniques along the way (out of necessity more than anything). 🛠️

1. Tag-Team the Nights: My partner and I had to get strategic. 🤝 We’d take turns, swapping shifts so that at least one of us could get a chunk of uninterrupted sleep. 😴 On nights when Archie was particularly difficult, even just getting two hours in a row felt like a win. 🥇

2. Power Naps Are Gold: During the day, if Archie ever gave us even the slightest opportunity for rest, we took it. 💤 It wasn’t always easy (and sometimes the temptation to clean the house or check emails was real), but I’ve learned that those little 10- or 20-minute naps or just rest can make a huge difference. ⏳✨

3. Lower the Bar (on Everything): We had to seriously lower our expectations for what we could accomplish in a day. 📉 Housework, socialising, even basic self-care had to take a back seat. 🧹🛋️ It’s okay to let things slide. Survival mode means just that—you focus on surviving, and the rest will sort itself out eventually. 🧘‍♀️ Our house was and still is a massive tip!

4. Ask for Help: If you have family or friends who can help, take them up on it! 🙏 The saying is it takes a village to raise a family… 👪💖

5. Caffeine, Glorious Caffeine: ☕ Coffee and tea became our best friends. There’s no shame in leaning on a little caffeine boost to keep you going. Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll end up jittery and more exhausted than before. 🚀

6. Breathe and Reset: On the hardest days, when we were both running on empty, I had to remind myself to just breathe. 🌬️ Take a moment, step outside if needed, and remember that this won’t last forever. 🌅 It’s so hard when you’re in it, but I’ve learned to take things one moment at a time. ⏱️

   
   

The Reality of It All

Sleep deprivation with a baby, especially one like Archie who just doesn’t sleep well, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. 💔 It’s physically and emotionally exhausting in a way that’s hard to describe. 😩 I also know that we’re not alone. 🌍 So many parents are in the trenches with us, just trying to make it through the night. 🌙

My job and health took a toll, the best thing I did was finally ask for help. 🆘 The help I needed so badly but was too ‘proud’ and ‘ashamed’ to ask for. 😔 You’ll know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever been in survival mode for so long or just plain and simply struggling. 🤷‍♀️ TOP TIP: ASK FOR HELP. 💡

We still don’t have all the answers, if any, and Archie still isn’t a great sleeper, but we’ve learned to adapt and find ways to cope. 🛠️ Every day is a bit of a balancing act, and every night is unpredictable, but somehow, we’re managing. 💪

If you’re going through sleep deprivation with a baby/toddler, hang in there. 🤗 You’re not failing, and you’re not alone. We’ll get through this, one sleepless night at a time. 🌙✨

Feel free to contact me, even if it's just for a chat, honestly talking and reaching out for help and support DOES help.

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